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Just In Time For Halloween

About a year ago, Lady Miss Sonic and I were drunk at Corrina’s halloween party and decided to make this. That is all.



Srsly, I love my grandmas, even though the white one fills up my e-mail with ridiculous forwarded cute/joke things her friends send her and spends way too much of her money on quasi-useless crap from QVC and the guamanian one who I can barely understand and i’m pretty sure is probably homophobic. I wish i could get either of them to karaoke Bjork and Prodigy songs with me drunk. Can this lady be my grandma too? I want to karaoke “Enter Sandman” with her. Is “Enter Sandman” even available on karaoke? Maybe I can get her to play rockband with me at a a fairy-god-family gathering. I cant even play Rock band and I don’t even know the words to “Enter Sandman” or any metallica songs for that matter. Oh well. I want Betty White to be my grandma too. Can you even adopt grandparents? Betty White and this lady are my fairy god grandmas in my head.

and in case you were wondering, yes I have been called a “freak” before.


My New Straight Girl Crush

Photoshoot or not, If you’re going to wear leopard print, especially all over; you better fucking mean it. I have no doubt in my mind that Naomi Shimada means it. She’s that kind of ridiculously pretty that makes me wish i actually liked vagina. She looks like she could rip someones arms off and bystanders would just be like “You are so cute!” I want to keep her in my pocket and play dress up with her when I get bored or sad.


Where Is My Mother?

SF pride weekend was a 4 day long hot mess. I drank like I had not been drinking almost everyday for the previous two weeks, my feet are blistered, and my phone kept dying. It was sort of a weekend to end all weekends. Or at least my liver.

Thursday; Carwin, Dylan, and I were supposed to attend the infamous grimey gay party The Crib for Robin’s birthday. We began the night drinking and smoking weed in the hotel room. We left, I don’t remember this at all. Eventually we arrive across the street from the crib, and I proceed to throw a fit about how much the crib sucks and demand we head back to the hotel. Again, still dont remember anything that happened outside of the hotel room. We return to the room, continue to get drunk and high. At some point, two of us end up in our underwear and some pg-13 cute shit goes down.

Friday; Carwin, Dylan and I get ready to head to my usual party, the epic BLOW UP at the Rickshaw stop to meet up with Virgil. Again, we begin the evening drinking and smoking more weed then head out to our destination. I proceed to panic because Dylan’s wonderfully smart ass takes us through the tenderloin at night. We arrive at blow up where Virgil takes us out of line and throws us in through the VIP entrance. We begin dancing our asses off on stage where I run into Tori, Julia, Sarah, and Malea. Then Robin, Alicia, and Sophia appear out of nowhere. I continue to dance my ass off with Dylan until about 1:15 where we go outside to hangout until the party ends. I never leave blow up early, unless you’re some sort of special. Virgil, Dylan and I head back to the hotel to meet up with Carwin and smoke more weed. Virgil and I head back to solano county and go to bed.

Saturday; Virgil, Sam, and I head out to Pink Party and meet up with Edric, Dylan, Robin, Dimarco, Joriz, Alicia, Esther, etc. I barely had anything to drink but managed to be in a good enough mood to be all peppy. At the end of the night, 8 of us have to shove into virgil’s 5-seater car to head back to the hotel. I end up having to spoon with alicia at the bottom of the bed.

Sunday; This was probably the worst of the weekend. I was sober for the first half of the pride celebration, we managed to lose Sam, who later found Robin and Paul. I end up with Edric, Virgil, Mero, Michael and a few of their friends. While waiting for Alicia to come through with my vodka, The guys come through with a bottle of Bacardi Gold which they allow me to take straight to the face. My phone dies soon after. Eventually Alicia shows up with my vodka in a water bottle. I proceed to drink. Our whole group of about 15+ people begins to migrate and I somehow get separated from them and run into a boy I think I used to have a massive middle school crush on. I end up embarassing myself and make me sound like a pathetic drunk asshole. Although in the end I got his number, I ended up changing his name in my blackberry to “Don’t Even Bother.” I run my drunk ass around pride frantically searching for my friends when I run into a boy who’s nipple I permanently damaged back in december. I use his phone to call Christian who informs me everyone is by the Asian Art Museum. I scurry back there and jump on Alicia and almost start crying. We all proceed to drink more. Robin, Paul, Virgil, Sam and I head back to Pauls car then back to Virgil’s car where Paul and Virgil attempt to sober up. After 4 hours of hanging out by our cars, we finally head back towards home. We stop at Alicia’s friends house in concord to sober up more before heading back to benicia/vallejo. We watch tv, eat pizza, and bitch at eachother for about an hour before we go home.

I have sort of been hiding from everyone ever since. I hung out with Dylan yesterday to dye my hair. We ended up getting KFC, smoking weed and rolling around my bed instead. I think I might be sort of freaked out by all my partying. Sure, it’s summer, but I have been living like this since last August. I feel like I should be getting tired of it but IRL, I’m not, I can’t, and I won’t. I’m probably just not used to enjoying my life this much. But really, It’s fucking amazing.



Hi,THE BANGZ are hot shit. I honestly love whatever all this jerkin bullshit is. This song makes me like it more. I think I am sort of late on this. Now someone show me how to jerk. Someone teaching me how to dance in general would be nice.


Personality Of Spam

I want to see this movie. It’s like an old showtime movie special parody-ing Madonna’s Truth Or Dare tour documentary called “Medusa: Dare to Be Truthful” Starring Julie Brown as Medusa. It’s just one of those things that are funny because they are true.


Bands You Should Love Because I Say So: Kap Bambino

Kap Bambino pretty much completes a trifecta of Boy-Girl Electro-punk bands I am obsessed with along with Heartsrevolution and Crystal Castles. While similar in description, there’s a ridiculous difference in sound. Crystal castles is a little more super nintendo on estrogen and molly, Heartsrevolution is a little more cute but heavily-armed anime super heroine, and Kap Bambino is a little more zombie raver bar fight. Which is why they’re great.

September 2019
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