Author Archive for Melvin Leo


So I hate to do this but…

I think we should just be friends. WHAT THE FUCK?! I am rather dismayed to have discovered that men do not grow balls and a bit of courage as they get older. I have had the “just friends” discussion many many times. I’ve given it a few times, recieved it quite a few more (that sounded dirty) I say I am confused because, after being screwed over so many times, I’ve gotten to the point where I’ll be as bluntly honest with a person as need be. So after reading the “just friends” text (doesn’t that make it even better? a text?) and callin his ass I present him with the few things he could actually mean by just friends. Do you just want an out cause here’s the door. Nope thats not what he meant. Are you trying to make me a fuck buddy sort of thing? Nope, I like how were “together” when we’re together.  Pretty much I’m not being used as a late night booty call or a shoulder to cry on… no I’ve been turned into a fake girlfriend! I don’t know how to take this. It feels like an insult! Stay away from older guys… they’re fucking crazy.


How old is to old?


Many Many people have stated that my life closely resembles either a sitcom or a crazy soap opera. I must admit that after multiple incidents including my senior english teacher being in love with me, me and my bestie dateing identical twins and my father telling me my stepmother is expecting (20 year age dif between me and this kid btw) I have taken the cake. I have had my own wishes and desires come back to bite me in the ass. Those who know me will tell you that on several occasions I have been heard saying “I want to find my justin long character” I am of course talking about the awesomely realistic jerky but dashing bar owner played by Justin Long In “He’s just not that into you” That is the type of guy I want. Owns his own buisness, crazy funny, brutally honest and drop dead gorgeous. I have found him! Or more, he has found me. He’s everything I want in a guy plus some.

So whats the problem? He opens doors, buys dinner, compliments me constantly, wants to do whatev I want to do, owns a buisness and house, fucks like a pornstar….. How can I not be totally happy?

Because he’s 13 years older then me….. So how old is to old again?????


pop culture OMG peoples

So I have no clue how exactly to write out all I want to say right now so excuse me if I fail

1st off… Kevin Jonas is engaged. I’m not a jonas fan AT ALL, I think they’re unoriginal Hanson wanna be’s that cant sing and lie about their little purity rings BUT I have to address this. His girlfriend/fiance, NOT a cutie but at the same time he is “the fat hairy jonas” so it’s okay. And not gonna lie, I would totally tap Joe Jonas…. even if he’s wearing tights and heels and danceing to Single Ladies by beyonce.

2nd, Funny fever comment made by poor sick KyKy today….” So Cody and I have decided that sometimes Lady GaGa is hot, and sometimes… she’s a hot robot” hehehe, its so true it tickles me!

3rd, Micheal Jackson is dead, I know its sad because a pop icon died but all these people acting like jesus was just recrucificed!? come on! A month ago the same people were talking shit on his little boy touching and the such. I had a dream though that explained why all these celebrity people are dieing. So when rappers/hiphop people are attempting to sing and there’s those two or three sentances you cant understand except for a name? Really those rappers are going back to their african roots and voodoo cursing these celebrities! For example, that song “knock you down” by Keri Hilson has a line “this is bad, real bad, micheal jackson” THERE! THAT WAS A VOODOO DEATH CURSE!

I had more stuff to write but can’t think of any of it now. more laters LOVE YALLS


Why livin’ a sitcom as a life sucks ass

How about  a bit of autobiography. As one of my professors stated, my life is dancing a fine line of sitcom and soap opera. It just got way way worse. Flash back to a couple months ago… I was happily dateing a fine lad by the name of kyle warren who happened to be an identical twin, pretty cool right? Well it got even better cause my best friend of 14 years met kyles twin, matt, and they instantly went googoo for each other. So there I was dateing kyle while sam dated matt. Did I also mention that matt, sam and kyle lived in a house along with BryBry and Rachel, two of our good friends, and FOUR DOGS? Everyday was something new and life was amusing and sweet until sam and matt started treading on rocky waters and eventually drowned. As of two days ago I am no longer the happy girlfriend of Kyle Warren but the stressed out girlfriend of a stressed out kyle whos emo ass brother is rubbing emoness all over cause his now ex girlfriend never wants to see him again. And since she’s my best friend Im her rock during this hard time. Just everytime I talk to her matt happens to be there making it awkward and AH! And I want to make sam happy but making sam happy makes matt sad which makes kyle sad which pisses me off so bfhsijfcskjl!!!! Fuck a Duck!!! Now someone just needs to end up knocked up. Sometimes I really hate having an interesting life.



have to say that of all the places I’ve worked none have come even close in comparison to the interesting conversations and tidbits I hear and encounter at safeway. Following are a few examples

Italian Guy: Yea, I like lots of garlic, I’m italian
Me: Yea, me too. I’m Sicilian though
I.G.: Uh oh, I gotta watch my wallet when I’m around you then huh?
Me: (giggeling like a dork) Oh cause I’m SUCH a criminal
I.G.;s friend: I don’t get it. I’m so lost in this conversation
I.G.: Thats cause you’re irish, go sit in the moonlight and get a sunburn, leave this talk to us.

(over the overhead)
Nive juicy melons that will make your mouth overfloweth with slobber

(also over the overhead)
All courtesy clerks report to the restrooms… (couple seconds later) Please come prepared.

Some lady attacked the security guard with her electric wheelchair because he “looked at her funny”… same lady later knocked an entire display of wine over and gave out a death scream.

Crazy Black Lady: Your manager was VERY rude to me. I need you to pass a message along for me. Tell him I POLITELY suggest he take a few days off cuz he’s to stressed and I WILL NOT be disrespected by him.
Me: I’m so sorry mam. May I ask what he said to offend you so?
C.B.L.: He thought I was stealing balloons
Me: I don’t know why he would think that.
C.B.L.: Me neither, I just wanted to take one as a sample
Me: ummm, I don’t think you can do that.

Me: Oh! Your baby is SO cute!
Mom: I know ain’t he… Let me tell ya, If you want a cute baby fuck a black man. Halfie babies are way cuter then white babies.
Me: …. walk away….

and perhaps the most amusing quote of them all

Jason: yea, you could say its a bad morning. We dropped 18 chickens, 4 turkeys and set the oven on fire. Bad morning… very bad morning


Jeffree Star

I’m not going to lie, jeffree star’s new song, Prisioner, is an addicting little tune. But as usual I call up R.J. to get his approval on all things gay. His response to my question “have you listened to jeffree star yet?” was epic. “If I wanted to listen to some (term for a gay dude, cant recall what it was) talk about how amazing he was I’d leave myself a voicemail” I’ve been laughing about that for the last two days. Now, someone tell me how to get Amanda Blank’s Might Like You on my Ipod cause it aint on Itunes.



I watched tonights episode of house totally psyched for the twist involving house’s little affair… WTF WAS UP WITH THAT TWIST! That was HORRIBLE! That was cheap of the stupid stupid write out. I am now bummed and annoyed! GRRRRRR!

December 2019
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