17
Aug
09

Dear Small Time Crooks

While I commend you on your 10$ bust (well 9.70$…we found a nickel and a quarter after.) There’s a reason you’re still small time.  Most places check their machines on closing to make sure they don’t have a stupid amount of money inside it since it’d suck if someone took it.  This is the same practice for this establishment.

What you undertook was a gamble that there was going to be more money than the cost of tools to get inside it (my guess is that was a job done by a blowtorch).  I’ll give you the fact that you unplugged the machine before you put your hand inside it; but you either lost interest, ran out of fuel, or reasoned the risk involved using a blowtorch at night in the open since you barely torched the Gatorade machine.

I hope the 9.70$ is enough to cover the cost of fuel and I wish you luck in your future endeavors.
(Protip: Don’t go all out on a gamble unless you’re ok with risking jail time for covering your attempt’s cost.)

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