Archive for August, 2009

31
Aug
09

Leave it to Fox news..

LEAVE IT FOX NEWS. Here is your Daily LOL!

OFF TO EL PASO I GO.

30
Aug
09

Texas. Wait, what?

First off, no, I do NOT know why Ron Paul, Obama, and Hilary Clinton are all on this map of Texas. I don’t care about John McCain and he can go fuck himself. He is old. Go put him in the middle of some sand duned desert in the middle of nowhere and leave him to die.

BUT GETTING ON WITH IT:

Tomorrow I leave for Texas. I’ve always wanted to go to Texas wearing boots, denim shorts and a plaid shirt for the lols, but never had the chance. However, I am going to El Paso, which is basically Southern California with more Mexican people. I have stereotyped the entire state of Texas and refuse to believe that everywhere isn’t sand dunes and rodeos until after I set foot off that plane and see it for myself.

Yes, the above photograph is what I so far think of every Texan on the planet. They all have accents. They all have beer bellies. They all have cowboy hats. They all drink beer in every waking moment of their day. They all have over-compensating vehicles. They all have huge ass belt buckles, too. The only thing in the state itself is rodeos, sand dunes, and farms. Oh, and of course, cows.

This is a negative trait about me: I make stereotypes. All the time. No, I’m not racist. I’m just talking stereotypes. But, we all do it. We all know they’re true most of the time. Go ahead, make a Serbian stereotype and I can assure of you I can apply it to myself or my family.

So why am I going to El Paso, of all places you ask? I met this guy, and I essentially met him through the CEO. We started talking, yeahhh, and then I was like, “LOL HOW ABOUT I COME TO TEXAS.” So then, well, I bought a ticket to El Paso, and woohoo, here I come.

But the honest truth?

I am scared of Texas and the Texans in it. No, not the guy I met, though. He’s not very Texan at all. El Paso is too close to New Mexico. I’m afraid I might have to slap some old Texan men for looking me up and down the wrong way. Oh yeah, all Texans are old, too.

28
Aug
09

daily lol

I didn’t think Jason Forbes was a lolcat!?

27
Aug
09

LAWL

We all have our retard moments. This one just happened to me in my house.

Roommate: Hey, can you help me out for a second?

Me: *puts down phone* Yeah, sure, what is it?

Roommate: Well, I have this bed skirt, (the bed skirt is on top of the mattress) and if I put my sheets back on, it’s not a bed skirt anymore!

Me: …

Roommate: OOOOOH. IT GOES UNDER THE MATTRESS.

I thought this was twice as hilarious because she had asked for my help while I was reading “Not Always Right.” ROFL.

27
Aug
09

THE ENTIRE INTERNET

I was just recently introduced to this website called “Not Always Right,” and it’s quite great. (www.notalwaysright.com).. here’s my favorite so far:

(from an electronics store in England)

Me: “Good morning, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Well, a few of my friends have been talking about this ‘internet’ thing. Is it any good?”

Me: “Yes, it is very useful. I use it all the time.”

Customer: “Oh, good.” *pulls something from his pocket*

Customer: “Could you put it on to this floppy disc for me, please?”

Me: “The entire Internet?”

Customer: “Yes, please!”

26
Aug
09

daily obamalol.

AHAHAHAHA. I lol’d so hard.

25
Aug
09

wait, what?

Wait, what?

25
Aug
09

white people never fail to amaze me

Yes, you just watched a video on cheese racing. What you do is you grab a Kraft single, leave it in the plastic wrap (this must be played with multiple players), throw it on the grill.. and whoever’s explodes first.. wins.

WHY ARE WHITE PEOPLE SO STUPID.

Was Nascar not good enough?

23
Aug
09

THIS BIRD IS SO COOL

This pet wins, yours automatically fails.

22
Aug
09

8-Bit Trip = Win

I can’t even imagine how long this took to do.

21
Aug
09

daily lol.

I know my daily lols aren’t really daily anymore, but this totally made me lol.

To add to the daily lol:

So I was on icanhascheezburger.com and I saw an add that said, “$73/hour online job,” on a picture of a guy hugging a horse in his bed. Ok.. what the fuck? He gets $73/hour for hugging a horse in his bed? I guess cuddling would be the better word. But really.. what the fuck?

17
Aug
09

Dear Small Time Crooks

While I commend you on your 10$ bust (well 9.70$…we found a nickel and a quarter after.) There’s a reason you’re still small time.  Most places check their machines on closing to make sure they don’t have a stupid amount of money inside it since it’d suck if someone took it.  This is the same practice for this establishment.

What you undertook was a gamble that there was going to be more money than the cost of tools to get inside it (my guess is that was a job done by a blowtorch).  I’ll give you the fact that you unplugged the machine before you put your hand inside it; but you either lost interest, ran out of fuel, or reasoned the risk involved using a blowtorch at night in the open since you barely torched the Gatorade machine.

I hope the 9.70$ is enough to cover the cost of fuel and I wish you luck in your future endeavors.
(Protip: Don’t go all out on a gamble unless you’re ok with risking jail time for covering your attempt’s cost.)

16
Aug
09

OH GOD.. this is like that news cast thing..

OH GOD. lol.. RJ remember Mount Everest?

15
Aug
09

I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING

This, my fellow residents of the internet, is Ethan Albright. And he, is my new hero. I don’t even like the Redskins, and he is my new hero. Why, you might ask? Well, why don’t you click the link below and find out for yourself.

LINKKK

15
Aug
09

if my mother were a dog..

My mother is quite to the point and can be a bitch. But that’s why we love her.




August 2009
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