30
Apr
09

Stupid Girlfriends: Dump Them While You Can

We all have that one friend. That one friend that we wished to eventually get a girlfriend for the longest time. This said friend finally gets a girlfriend. Said friend seems happy, gets laid, and then we all realize:

Be careful what you wish for.

So we all sit there and observe the stupid the female produces. Yes, the stupid. When one friend tells you your girlfriend is stupid, look for the following symptoms of SFBGF (Stupid Fucking Bitch of a Girlfriend).

– calls you all the time
– counts down the days to every anniversary (OMG OUR TWO MONTHS IS TOMORROW!!!11 IM SO EXCITED!!!111 LAWLS)
– instead of telling you things that should be kept private, private, she publicly embarasses you
– gets jealous of any other friend that takes up your time
– your myspace and facebook comments are taken over by her, and only her
– gets angry if anyone else dare come within her networking website comment territory
– has funny looking eyebrows
– puts out, but it just doesn’t cut it
– you suddenly lose most connections with your friends
– the only thing you actually like in the relationship is the sexual activity
– not one waking moment is spent without her, or the presence of her
– calls any other girl who talks to you a slut

I could honestly go on for a long time, but if your girlfriend is showing any of these symptoms of SFBGF, please take her to your nearest junk yard and drop her off immediately.

EDIT: TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE WHO THINK I’M POINTING DIRECTLY TO ONE PERSON. I’M NOT. I HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS WITH STUPID GIRLFRIENDS AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING THAT I’M NOT THAT MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE.

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1 Response to “Stupid Girlfriends: Dump Them While You Can”


  1. 1 madcool
    May 7, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    I’m more of an asshole.

    When I drop violent shit, I leave half of my ass missing.


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